Mary Margaret (minorpianokeys) wrote,
Mary Margaret

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You know how I get when I haven't had my coffee yet.

So, I'm heading back to Santa Fe.
Look back then look away.
Way that blue sky fades, feels like I'm running away.
Baby, I know you see just how hard it is for me.
To unpack clothes and shoes and stay right here with you.

It seems like this was easier when I was younger. The blank page didn't intimidate me like it does now. Perhaps because I know what the consequences could be. Perhaps because back then, I wanted to leave this town. And now, I can't fathom the thought of leaving.

What happened?

I don't know.

Sometimes, I think it was Pranzo that did this to me. I was a full-time student and worked two part-time jobs. And in an instant, I was accused of stealing. I was verbally abused by their radical Christian owners. I have never stole anything in my entire life, except watches from friends and clothes from my sister. After that, I was too scared to try anything else. I don't blame my lack of money on the economy. I blame myself. I spend too much and work too little.

I'm scared of being accused for something I didn't do. I'm scared of failure. I'm scared of driving. I'm scared of flying. I'm scared to get married, so I don't. I don't do any of these things. People think it must be exhausting, but it's not. It's just embarrassing. (Things aren't wrong. I'm just a human. I don't want to forget.)

Suddenly last night, I couldn't find you.
You ran beneath the plume of smoke.
And all your sisters, they ran after you.
When did you know that you were chosen?

  • This is the end, my only friend, the end.

    What I wrote in this again? What if I began writing. Haphazardly throwing up words and meanings and sentences like they fucking mean things again.…

  • (no subject)

    I honestly can't believe I'm going to be a married woman on Wednesday.

  • (no subject)

    It's my 22nd birthday today. And the clock turned midnight while I was in his arms. Happy birthday to me. <3

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